So, I’m a year older since the last time we spoke.
I celebrated my birthday earlier this month. My 24th – so I guess I’m well and truly in my mid-20s now. I remember there was a time that I thought I’d be married with a baby by now, which isn’t the craziest idea, but neither are in my immediate plans. I mean, twenty-four isn’t that old really though, at least I don’t feel like it is – despite what my seventeen-year-old little sister might tell me. (She enjoys reminding me that I’m old AF)
So in my old age, I feel like it would be good time to reflect on some realizations that I’ve made in the past year. My new found wisdom. So let’s get into that, shall we?
For a little context, let’s reflect on where I was at this time last year.
I was ready to start a blog, something I’d been wanting to do for about six years beforehand. I’d even taken a stab at it a couple of times before, but not really committed to it. I wasn’t ready in the sense that I felt confident or like I knew I was doing, but I knew I’d already put it off long enough. It was something I needed to push myself to do, despite the fact that I was terrified. I needed to feel the fear and do it anyway.
At the begining, I was kind of nervous for anyone to see it, didn’t really feel comfortable promoting my blog on twitter or facebook, didn’t want to mention it to family or friends. But, unlike with previous blogging attempts, I decided to get over that fear and just do it. Over the next few months, I found that it started to seem a little bit more natural to me and the way I thought about a lot of things started to change.
I even wrote a blog post on it at the time.
There are few things that I came to realize that made all the difference to how I think and feel. Especially in regards to my body. So hopefully by sharing them with you, I’ll save you some time by not having to figure this shit out for yourself + you can feel body confident AF too.
You won’t be everyone’s cup of tea + that’s fine.
Personally, tea isn’t my cup of tea. I’m 1000% a coffee person.
But this was the first realization I made after coming across a quote on Instagram. I’m not sure of its origin but it is literally the truest thing I’ve ever read.
Confidence is not they will like me, it’s I’ll be fine if they don’t.
I feel like it’s a polite way of saying you really don’t have to give a fuck about what anyone else thinks. Which, if that’s something you struggle with, I totally recommend reading The Life-Changing Magic of Not Giving a Fuck. I was actually given this book by a friend for my birthday and not only does it look pretty cute on my shelf but it totally reaffirms my new way of thinking.
This quote can be applied to any area of life that you need a confidence boost.
It works well with boosting your body confidence because it’s a reminder to only seek approval from yourself. No one can make you feel confident if that feeling isn’t already inside you. One compliment isn’t going to suddenly change the way you view yourself, so a negative comment shouldn’t be able to do the reverse.
You don’t have to fit the mould to be happy
I started See Wear Do with the mindset that I would need to lose about 60 lb in order to be successful. I told you, I’ve come a long way this year.
One of the reasons I put off blogging before was that I would always feel like I needed to lose weight first. When I started my blog, I didn’t feel any differently but I realized I was setting my own roadblocks with lies like “Before I start I need to lose X pounds”. It wasn’t until a few months in that I realized I was only telling myself these things because I was scared of just getting the fuck on with it and not because those lies held any truth.
Subconsciously we often incorrectly believe that we need to look a certain way in order to be happy. Which is bullshit! It’s the way we’ve been conditioned to think largely due to the media. Not only does adopting this way of thinking makes happiness unattainable by putting conditions in place like “I’ll be happy when I lose X amount of weight!” or “I can start doing (insert activity that would make you happy) when my tummy is flatter”.
You can be happy now. You can do the shit you want to do now.
Stop creating obstacles for yourself. The earlier we realize that these lies that we are telling ourselves areLIES, the faster we can begin growing our confidence + self-love.
We find beauty in the things that we’ve been conditioned to.
Following on from my previous realization. Not only can you be happy without fitting the stereotypes. You can be hella beautiful too.
Really we all know the media portrays some pretty specific, often unattainable, standards of beauty. Yet a lot of us are still guilty of holding ourselves to these impossible standards + then, of course, feeling shit when we don’t meet them.
It kinda can’t be helped though. As humans we draw comparisons, we just do. So when we’re bombarded with photo-shopped images of models with the “perfect body” it becomes the only beautiful we know.
The biggest turning point for me came when I switched up my Instagram feed. Following more gorgeous, body confident women opened my eyes to other types of beauty. The reason we find certain attributes attractive, honestly, is just down to the things we see most often.
For me, seeing curvy figures, stretch marks and rolls on a daily basis taught me to learn to love those aspects of myself. The more positivity you surround yourself with, the more you’ll feel.
If you want me to share some of my faves to follow on Instagram I’ll dedicate a post to that soon. + if your not already you can follow my Instagram here.
Let me know which of these realisations resonate with you the most!What other realisations make you feel body confident?