I feel like this is the perfect post to kick things back off after another unscheduled blogging hiatus.
Personally, I put a lot of pressure on myself to create content that I’m proud of. Hense why this post has taken over two weeks to actually make it up onto my blog. Since my longer more insightful posts are usually the ones I get the most positive response from I’ve begun to feel like that is the content that I need to stick to. I completely love writing them and I love knowing that people find them inspirational or empowering. So, with each post, I want to get better and inspire more women to question their insecurities and be the most confident versions of themselves. But when you set your own standards so high sometimes the pressure can get a little overwhelming.
I was reflecting on why I’m not posting as regularly as I want to and I realised I follow this pattern so often in life. It’s not just when it comes to my blog. Whether it’s a list of chores, finding the right outfit, or managing finances. I tend to expect a lot of myself.
I’m sure this is something I’m sure many of you can relate to. So, I feel like sharing my thought process on how to beat this cycle on my blog would benefit us both.
I’m sure most people have an idea of how their life would go ideally. The perfect house, perfect car, perfect career – whatever that may mean to you. Of course, there’s the ideal timeline all of this would happen within too. In part it may be formed by the example your parents have set, or the milestones your friends are reaching. Either way, a lot of us feel the pressure to tick certain boxes to feel like you’ve got shit together.
Of course, as you can learn from many memes, there are smaller tasks you can complete for basic adulting points… Doing your laundry before you’re totally out of clean underwear. Surviving a trip to Ikea with your other half (which, let’s be honest, is no easy feat).
But then it comes to the trickier stuff, like how to balance working a 9-5 and still having the energy and funds to enjoy your evenings and weekends with friends. How to save enough money to buy the house of your dreams but travel and make memories while you’re young. How to be a domestic goddess but also take the time to practice self-care. Let’s throw in the added pressures of being a good friend/girlfriend/sister + don’t forget to give yourself time to work out, spend time with family and binge the latest Netflix series too. It’s all just about finding the perfect balance, right?
It’s one of those phrases that we’ve all heard before. When we’re feeling the pressure to be perfect, just find the right balance and you can achieve it. The answer that solves all problems without actually offering a specific solution at all.
It’s all about having a work-life balance & a balanced diet – it’s the magic word that solves every problem. We can have it all, just like they do in movies & on TV. Dream job, perfect relationships, beautiful house that is always tidy and 2.5 kids. We can live a perfect life if only we just figure out the perfect balance, everything will fall into place.
Well, I’m calling bullshit: I say the perfect balance doesn’t exist.
While June saw zero new blog posts, it was still a pretty monumental month for me because I FINALLY mustered up the courage to launch a youtube channel. I am not kidding you when I tell you it has taken me YEARS to actually just go for it; as many of my close friends and family can tell you. If you haven’t already caught my first two videos you can watch them here.
I won’t deny I am pretty freaking proud of myself for getting it together to plan, film, shoot and edit two videos. But I also cant’ help but feel like I’m falling short for not maintaining my blog at the same time. There’s a lot that I’d love to share if only I had unlimited time and resources.
I also have to admit that housework took a back seat while I taught myself to edit video too. Honestly. Manoeuvring through my home without getting caught up in a pile of laundry or tripping over a shoe became an extreme sport. Plus, de-fuzzing my legs and detangling my hair seemed more like luxuries that I really didn’t have the time for. And as far as preparing dinner, thank the lord for the invention of the microwave because without it hot meals would have been a thing of the past.
It all led to a bit of a breakdown. Surely, I should be able to stay on top of everything right?
Now, I really can’t pin the blame for all this chaos on just these two videos. There were certainly other areas of my life that were taking up more time than usual. While work was going well and I’d spent some quality time with friends and family, the guilt of not getting any laundry done for two weeks or updating the blog in forever started to set in. Trying to juggle everything can certainly get a little overwhelming. Especially when the perfectionist in you is telling you, you need to excel in every area.
It happens to the best of us. No matter how meticulously we manage our time and finances there’s always those things that don’t quite go to plan. Which feels shit.
So after a bit of a cry to Marcus about how I’m failing at everything (what can I say, I’ dramatic) and a long chat with my mum, I finally started to gain back some perspective. Fuck the pressure to be perfect at everything – it’s unrealistic AF. You just can’t focus on everything all at once.
I’m not saying it’s not possible to balance things to an extent. But trying to find the perfect balance where every area of our lives is 100% on track 100% of the time is just putting way too much pressure on ourselves.
The point I’m trying to make is this: next time you haven’t been on a night out in weeks, your nails are chipped and you have a pile of clean clothes that you STILL haven’t put that back in your wardrobe (honestly, why are there so many steps to doing laundry?), remind yourself that it’s just not possible to perfectly manage every area of your life all of the time. The most we can do is tackle each task one at a time. As long as you prioritise what you deem most important, it’s not the end of the world if you let a few things slip every now and then.
As for what these realisations mean for this blog: you can definitely expect to hear from me a little more.